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| Mickleplum Featured Poets: Alicia Winski |
 My name is
Alicia Winski, and I go by MsWizard....I've been writing poetry for
just over a year now although I've been writing other genres most of
my adult life. I'm now obsessed with my poems and am trying to get
them out there so that hopefully, somewhere, someone in the world will
hear what I'm saying and enjoy them as well. I have recently moved to
Seattle and have found much inspiration in the grey skies of
Washington..... |
A Lesson in Lonely
Oh it’s yet another new Lesson in Lonely tonight …
He wants to touch me
To show me I’m beautiful,
A flawless angel …
So Big deal,
Touch me
Don’t touch me.
If I just want to share skin
I can touch anybody
Anytime I want …
Anybody that is
but the one
Who can truly show me who he is
Who he was
Who he will be …
His eyes,
His lies
His truths
And his soul….
But I guess it’s all a lesson in emotional
self survival….our little self
protective mode …
Or is it really?
Seriously,
What kind of survival is it
When you eat
Sleep
Talk and walk
The dark mean bleak streets
Of a world overpopulated
With everybody looking
For the same thing,
Yet… finding nothing
But a cheap empty night
Leaving us still
And forever, alone?
Forever out of touch,
Disconnected
Segregated …
We’re all like tribal hunters
Stealthy in the night
Searching out new eyes
New tries with new weapons
In a game older than Life itself.
We hunt for that next best thing
Wanting
Begging
Drenched with despair
Shrouded in the black fear of loneliness …
And ironically, never once seeing
That we may be looking right past
That which we spend a life seeking …
that which we scream out
in our hunger for~
The Love filled Holy Grail we don’t really
Want to find,
‘Cause after all
Rather than that jewel encrusted precious
And mythical Treasure,
It may be just yet another tarnished
Dented Carpenter’s cup after all …
And disappointment is a wound that heals
Oh so slowly … while time passes so quickly …
We are so many street lamps
Who have lost our way in this darkness …
A veritable forest of lost trees standing
Flesh to flesh on a remote and lonely acreage
Solitary in a lonely forest listening
To the sounds of our hopes and despair
Quietly passing away
Sadly
Regretfully …
And the sad stench of lost and dead loves
Lingering in the air around us …
I didn’t always feel this way.
Once I thought I felt that conviction
That commitment
That connection
That communion
That perception
Until I realized it was just another
Aberration
Of overused dreams
And underused actions and anticipations …
Just another early forced emotional
abortion of a love that lived only
In my own heart…..
Quietly
Selfishly and
with no true merit …
And so here I lay after letting him convince me
That all I needed was that
“human touch”;
HIS touch
to wash away these
Broken convictions
And dreams
His winning argument was
To lose finally lose you, I had to
Give myself
To let him sweep me off my feet
Let him love me long and complete
Lick me sweet as my flesh was cleansed
With his branding kisses
And demanding lips
Oh what a farce ……
The deed is done
This chapter closed,
And quicker than a three
Dollar whore,
I realize flash fire quickly
that I can lay there forever
in his empty arms
placating his self indulged wants
smiling quietly and insincerely
for him
but knowing
Always knowing
with a gut wrenching certainty,
As I listen to his bloated
contented murmurs
and feeling his love scented fingers
lightly brush my hips
that yes, he can own my body
He can touch my flesh …
But he’ll never
… truly …
… touch …
… me …
He wants to touch me
To show me I’m beautiful,
A flawless angel …
So Big deal,
Touch me
Don’t touch me.
If I just want to share skin
I can touch anybody
Anytime I want …
Anybody that is
but the one
Who can truly show me who he is
Who he was
Who he will be …
His eyes,
His lies
His truths
And his soul….
But I guess it’s all a lesson in emotional
self survival….our little self
protective mode …
Or is it really?
Seriously,
What kind of survival is it
When you eat
Sleep
Talk and walk
The dark mean bleak streets
Of a world overpopulated
With everybody looking
For the same thing,
Yet… finding nothing
But a cheap empty night
Leaving us still
And forever, alone?
Forever out of touch,
Disconnected
Segregated …
We’re all like tribal hunters
Stealthy in the night
Searching out new eyes
New tries with new weapons
In a game older than Life itself.
We hunt for that next best thing
Wanting
Begging
Drenched with despair
Shrouded in the black fear of loneliness …
And ironically, never once seeing
That we may be looking right past
That which we spend a life seeking …
that which we scream out
in our hunger for~
The Love filled Holy Grail we don’t really
Want to find,
‘Cause after all
Rather than that jewel encrusted precious
And mythical Treasure,
It may be just yet another tarnished
Dented Carpenter’s cup after all …
And disappointment is a wound that heals
Oh so slowly … while time passes so quickly …
We are so many street lamps
Who have lost our way in this darkness …
A veritable forest of lost trees standing
Flesh to flesh on a remote and lonely acreage
Solitary in a lonely forest listening
To the sounds of our hopes and despair
Quietly passing away
Sadly
Regretfully …
And the sad stench of lost and dead loves
Lingering in the air around us …
I didn’t always feel this way.
Once I thought I felt that conviction
That commitment
That connection
That communion
That perception
Until I realized it was just another
Aberration
Of overused dreams
And underused actions and anticipations …
Just another early forced emotional
abortion of a love that lived only
In my own heart…..
Quietly
Selfishly and
with no true merit …
And so here I lay after letting him convince me
That all I needed was that
“human touch”;
HIS touch
to wash away these
Broken convictions
And dreams
His winning argument was
To lose finally lose you, I had to
Give myself
To let him sweep me off my feet
Let him love me long and complete
Lick me sweet as my flesh was cleansed
With his branding kisses
And demanding lips
Oh what a farce ……
The deed is done
This chapter closed,
And quicker than a three
Dollar whore,
I realize flash fire quickly
that I can lay there forever
in his empty arms
placating his self indulged wants
smiling quietly and insincerely
for him
but knowing
Always knowing
with a gut wrenching certainty,
As I listen to his bloated
contented murmurs
and feeling his love scented fingers
lightly brush my hips
that yes, he can own my body
He can touch my flesh …
But he’ll never
… truly …
… touch …
… me …
Turn Me On
You turn me on baby;
Turn me on
like a bright white light
on a warm summer night
firing up the hot mean
streets of Vegas~
You make me burn and yearn
to be covered in you
like a tattered Walmart girl
in a crisp new Macy's suit~
One look in your eyes and
I'm hot sparked like
a car parked and lit up
with the clumsy fumbling
of two kids in a back seat of
a cramped Mustang
convertible ...
... Yeah....
Crank me up,
drive me, ride me
'till I cant take no more~
Leave me
frothing at the mouth
heaving, breathing
from lungs pushed
to the limits in our
long hard race
to a starburst finish~
Tell me things
that I don't already know~
Take me where I've
never gone,
Light me up
like a neon glow~
Turn me on ...
...Yeah ...
You turn me on ...
Turn me on
like a bright white light
on a warm summer night
firing up the hot mean
streets of Vegas~
You make me burn and yearn
to be covered in you
like a tattered Walmart girl
in a crisp new Macy's suit~
One look in your eyes and
I'm hot sparked like
a car parked and lit up
with the clumsy fumbling
of two kids in a back seat of
a cramped Mustang
convertible ...
... Yeah....
Crank me up,
drive me, ride me
'till I cant take no more~
Leave me
frothing at the mouth
heaving, breathing
from lungs pushed
to the limits in our
long hard race
to a starburst finish~
Tell me things
that I don't already know~
Take me where I've
never gone,
Light me up
like a neon glow~
Turn me on ...
...Yeah ...
You turn me on ...
Saturday Night in Phoenix
It's a dark mecca,
a seething underground
of reptilian figures
disguised
as suburbanites
with money to spend
on slick fast cars
expensive bars
and restaurants ....
Bleached blond
women with
over amped smiles
and too much make up
working their wiles
for that next line
so white
so fine
Just a little hit
yeah that's it
a little somethin'
to do her up right ...
A bright light
in a dark night
in a dark town
covered in a filmy dust
guaranteed to
heighten
sharpen
and enlighten
the senses so frail...
The smell of
desperation
lingering in
the air
and money
to burn
changing hands
in rapid shot gun fire
time ...
... yeah ...
1:00 am comes
round and there's
no slowing down
too much going on
too many lonely bodies
exchanging dangers
with strangers
unknown
Anything
and everything
to bring
that human touch
once so tender
and real
now nothing but
translucent memories
lost
and burnt up
by their back
alley sins ...
Yeah its....
another Saturday night
fading into
another Sunday morning
so empty and bleak
and another six days
before the sad
and lonely
can shine
and parade
while seeking
another lost night
filled with
pharmaceutical hopes
and dreams
efficiently
manufactured
in the hot desert
sands ...
Just for this
special night alone ...
Oh yes
Saturday night
In Phoenix.
Bring plenty of cash.
You'll need it.
a seething underground
of reptilian figures
disguised
as suburbanites
with money to spend
on slick fast cars
expensive bars
and restaurants ....
Bleached blond
women with
over amped smiles
and too much make up
working their wiles
for that next line
so white
so fine
Just a little hit
yeah that's it
a little somethin'
to do her up right ...
A bright light
in a dark night
in a dark town
covered in a filmy dust
guaranteed to
heighten
sharpen
and enlighten
the senses so frail...
The smell of
desperation
lingering in
the air
and money
to burn
changing hands
in rapid shot gun fire
time ...
... yeah ...
1:00 am comes
round and there's
no slowing down
too much going on
too many lonely bodies
exchanging dangers
with strangers
unknown
Anything
and everything
to bring
that human touch
once so tender
and real
now nothing but
translucent memories
lost
and burnt up
by their back
alley sins ...
Yeah its....
another Saturday night
fading into
another Sunday morning
so empty and bleak
and another six days
before the sad
and lonely
can shine
and parade
while seeking
another lost night
filled with
pharmaceutical hopes
and dreams
efficiently
manufactured
in the hot desert
sands ...
Just for this
special night alone ...
Oh yes
Saturday night
In Phoenix.
Bring plenty of cash.
You'll need it.
Awakenings (Revised)
~anticipation …~
One
a quickening
an awakening of the senses
flash fire quick sparked
as emotional antenna
rise high…
heart flutters rapidly
as interest is drawn
by this unexpected
interloper so
quietly stepping
into her solitude….
Two
A confident hand
Reaches out
And a hesitant exchange
Then another
And another …
Cautious as a doe
In a new found woodland
She steps forward
Wondering
Is this a warm heart?
Or will she be shot down
And slaughtered
By a direct hit?
~curiosities~
Warm sun bronzed silk
blowing wildly in tune
with a faintly sea scented breeze
Dancing impatiently
cautiously eager …
She’s unable to remain still
as she lifts green eyed curiosity
up to the sky
quietly wondering
Just what
lies over
The hill…
~questionings~
Determinedly putting
Aside
her hesitation
She prances
To her destination
Breathlessly eager
she stumbles
when she
knows
he can see her
and all the sorrow
she carries and
She quietly wonders …
Do I take them
With me, or
Is it time
To let go?
~goodbyes~
bitter
bittersweet memories
fall down
to the ground
around her …
She lets them go
as regretfully
as she would a
handful of petals
to be laid upon
a casket ...
With silvered rivulets
trickling down a face
masked by sorrow
and loss
She asks herself
Where
do I go
One
a quickening
an awakening of the senses
flash fire quick sparked
as emotional antenna
rise high…
heart flutters rapidly
as interest is drawn
by this unexpected
interloper so
quietly stepping
into her solitude….
Two
A confident hand
Reaches out
And a hesitant exchange
Then another
And another …
Cautious as a doe
In a new found woodland
She steps forward
Wondering
Is this a warm heart?
Or will she be shot down
And slaughtered
By a direct hit?
~curiosities~
Warm sun bronzed silk
blowing wildly in tune
with a faintly sea scented breeze
Dancing impatiently
cautiously eager …
She’s unable to remain still
as she lifts green eyed curiosity
up to the sky
quietly wondering
Just what
lies over
The hill…
~questionings~
Determinedly putting
Aside
her hesitation
She prances
To her destination
Breathlessly eager
she stumbles
when she
knows
he can see her
and all the sorrow
she carries and
She quietly wonders …
Do I take them
With me, or
Is it time
To let go?
~goodbyes~
bitter
bittersweet memories
fall down
to the ground
around her …
She lets them go
as regretfully
as she would a
handful of petals
to be laid upon
a casket ...
With silvered rivulets
trickling down a face
masked by sorrow
and loss
She asks herself
Where
do I go
the bus
The Bus Parts I and II
“Mutha fucka bus gonna make me wait all GOD damn night!” is what I hear when I slide onto that ice cold rain covered steel, sitting on the bleakest streets Phoenix has to offer and proceed to wait for my wheels for hire, The Bus. I move on over as he sits down next to me eyeing up my slick red shoes and giving me a sly wink as he reaches into his pocket and snags his last three butts muttering “which one of these am I gonna fire on up?” and of course I’m down wind of him, trying not to choke on his left over smoke as he lights up his Camel with a look of pure ecstasy, then breaking into a raspy cough as he asks “so there Dorothy, you gonna click dem red heels and find your way home”? As he eyes me up from my red shoes to my red head, I wonder if it would do me any good to just ignore him and then decide with a sigh that it would be fairly useless. I say, ever so bitchy “hey if I could have clicked my heels, trust me, I wouldn’t be sitting here parked next to you, breathing your second hand cancer into my throat, and freezing my ass off in this rain”…..and he laughs shaking his head. I try to soften my remark with a lame and insincere smile only to find that I’ve done exactly what I was hoping to avoid ~ grabbing his attention as he sneers and slides on over closer to me. “Hey man, hey man!” I hear as my savior rides up on a shiny new Beachrunner Bike. “You got forty dollars? Forty dollars and this here bike is all yours, brand new, brand NEW! just bought, worth $99 dollars, you can have it for $40”….. My bus stop Romeo rises to his seedy and unsteady feet as he fumbles in his pocket digging out a dirty ten and his last two butts. “Man if I had forty bucks you think I’d be homeless??” he whines, “I got ten, ten’s all I got, you want ten?” and I sit there between the two of them arguing over my wet head thinking “oh yeeeaaaaah, I’m running with the big dogs now…..32nd and Thunderbird pikers haggling over a stolen Target bicycle” as I sit there pinned like a moth to a board waiting for…..The Bus.
~The End of The Line~
“Mutha fucka bus gonna make me wait all GOD damn night!” is what I hear when I slide onto that ice cold rain covered steel, sitting on the bleakest streets Phoenix has to offer and proceed to wait for my wheels for hire, The Bus. I move on over as he sits down next to me eyeing up my slick red shoes and giving me a sly wink as he reaches into his pocket and snags his last three butts muttering “which one of these am I gonna fire on up?” and of course I’m down wind of him, trying not to choke on his left over smoke as he lights up his Camel with a look of pure ecstasy, then breaking into a raspy cough as he asks “so there Dorothy, you gonna click dem red heels and find your way home”? As he eyes me up from my red shoes to my red head, I wonder if it would do me any good to just ignore him and then decide with a sigh that it would be fairly useless. I say, ever so bitchy “hey if I could have clicked my heels, trust me, I wouldn’t be sitting here parked next to you, breathing your second hand cancer into my throat, and freezing my ass off in this rain”…..and he laughs shaking his head. I try to soften my remark with a lame and insincere smile only to find that I’ve done exactly what I was hoping to avoid ~ grabbing his attention as he sneers and slides on over closer to me. “Hey man, hey man!” I hear as my savior rides up on a shiny new Beachrunner Bike. “You got forty dollars? Forty dollars and this here bike is all yours, brand new, brand NEW! just bought, worth $99 dollars, you can have it for $40”….. My bus stop Romeo rises to his seedy and unsteady feet as he fumbles in his pocket digging out a dirty ten and his last two butts. “Man if I had forty bucks you think I’d be homeless??” he whines, “I got ten, ten’s all I got, you want ten?” and I sit there between the two of them arguing over my wet head thinking “oh yeeeaaaaah, I’m running with the big dogs now…..32nd and Thunderbird pikers haggling over a stolen Target bicycle” as I sit there pinned like a moth to a board waiting for…..The Bus.
~The End of The Line~
So I catch my ride
Slip on inside
And down next to
Another worn out mama
On her way home
Alone
Tired and aching
Knows what’s waitin’
At the End of this line
More weary faces
Starved embraces
Wanting
Wanting
Crying
“Gimme gimme mama”
And mama,
Shuffling off in shoes
Worn and thin
To take care of her pack;
Her pride and her joys.
Nope.
There’s no rest for the
wicked and weary.
The Night Time Is the Right Time
You know
the night time
Is the right time
to be
with the one you love~
It’s not the daytime
It’s the playtime
In the dark
when two lovers
Desire
To conspire
To commit
The deed
and fill the needs
that only
a warm sultry night
and torrid skin
creating sparks
in the dark
can fulfill …
The daytime is sweet
so chaste and complete
with handholding
Smiles
and laughter
But when
the nighttime falls
and dark natures call
out in the night
for satiation
of the hunger
they're after …
Hot moans
Groans
and cries in the night
Scratches
Deep kisses
Ecstatic bites
Darkest desires
Unleashed
as inhibitions
take flight …
Harder
Deeper
Yes right there!
the scent of sex
permeates the air
Hot love speak sighed
into lover’s ears
Orgasmic pleasure
turns into tears
rapturously
trickling down
contented faces
masked in glorious smiles
while hands slowly
Stroke
Move
And
Smooth
over skin softened
and saturated
with warm
liquid desires
as waxed witnesses
flicker wildly
In the dark ….
Oh the
Daytime is sweet
but it’s the
Night time ..
Thats the
Right time …
…Yeah …
to be …
with
the one
you love …
(Thank you Ray Charles....)
the night time
Is the right time
to be
with the one you love~
It’s not the daytime
It’s the playtime
In the dark
when two lovers
Desire
To conspire
To commit
The deed
and fill the needs
that only
a warm sultry night
and torrid skin
creating sparks
in the dark
can fulfill …
The daytime is sweet
so chaste and complete
with handholding
Smiles
and laughter
But when
the nighttime falls
and dark natures call
out in the night
for satiation
of the hunger
they're after …
Hot moans
Groans
and cries in the night
Scratches
Deep kisses
Ecstatic bites
Darkest desires
Unleashed
as inhibitions
take flight …
Harder
Deeper
Yes right there!
the scent of sex
permeates the air
Hot love speak sighed
into lover’s ears
Orgasmic pleasure
turns into tears
rapturously
trickling down
contented faces
masked in glorious smiles
while hands slowly
Stroke
Move
And
Smooth
over skin softened
and saturated
with warm
liquid desires
as waxed witnesses
flicker wildly
In the dark ….
Oh the
Daytime is sweet
but it’s the
Night time ..
Thats the
Right time …
…Yeah …
to be …
with
the one
you love …
(Thank you Ray Charles....)
Lullaby
Sweet sleep
Falling deep
Into dreams
Animated
By memories
Vividly fresh
On my lips
Your kisses
Damp and warm…
Your hands
Grasping
My hips
Pulling me
Falling deep
Into dreams
Animated
By memories
Vividly fresh
On my lips
Your kisses
Damp and warm…
Your hands
Grasping
My hips
Pulling me